Breakthrough

Every day my mum goes out to walk the dog and I have a choice of what to do whilst the house is empty: play with myself or sing. More often than not, I choose the latter. I love singing; I always have. More comfortable with Bowie and Morrissey than the screaming hordes of Cornell and Vedder, I don't really have the throat to dredge up that guttural sound I've always admired and coveted. But not today. Today I made a discovery.

I started with some Floyd for a warm-up then broke out some Classic Rock. Mimicking Plant went down as badly as it did in the NY session, which was to be expected. Common knowledge for me. Faired well on a bit of Free and Thin Lizzy; didn't go so good singing The Chain, which did hit me for six I must admit. Feeling like a change and itching for something more challenging, I stopped the mp3 player and wandered into new and unsteady territory. I whacked on some Pearl Jam.

And yes, I'm still talking about singing at this point.

Now, as I mentioned, I haven't got the Vedder scream. I'm fine singing their quieter songs, but the likes of 'Go' and 'Lukin' have always been beyond me. And so too, I thought, was 'Life Wasted', the first track off their 2006 self-titled album. This song has special resonance for me because it is basically one half of a conversation that I could see me having with a former self: stop complaining about your lot and do something about it. Coupled with the fact that it possess a fast, punchy riff, I've previously tried in vain to bust it out. My voice shrivels to a yelp by the chorus. It did yesterday and the 3 or 4 times I've attempted the song in the past. But I felt I was on to something yesterday - most probably having the lyrics in front of me helped - so I had another crack. I revved up through the verse and then came the moment of truth. I let rip...and it worked. I kept going and my voice still wasn't fucked. It kept going, not quite stronger, but hitting the lyrics. I felt good; I felt really fucking good. And the reason was simple: I can't scream, just not happening, but in place of a scream I hit a deep breathy sort of shout. It's the reason why I can hammer a Smiths tune - Morrissey and I both naturally have a very breathy sort of singing style (though his is much more so than mine). I followed up with another track off the album - Army Reserve. By the end of it my body was shaking.

I'm ready for the laughing gas people. I'm ready for a band!

Metal Monkey: Self-indulgent author to the end.